I am a toaster

And I’m fed up of having crumbs in the bottom of me – it’s irritating and

I’m sort of stuck in the corner – I don’t move but I’ve got a pretty good view. I can see out the window and anyone walking into the kitchen – it’s hilarious what they look like first thing in the morning.

I’m white and a bit plain, actually to be honest I don’t think I’m plain, nice lines and white and sort of sleek. I do think I’m quite attractive. They bought a new kettle though – it’s black and goes blue in the bit where the water is boiling – I get on alright with it but get a bit grumpy when it lights up…but enough about the other kitchen appliances, we’re talking about me.

I love having the job of toasting things, and I love being used..Bread and crumpets are what normally come my way.

Suppose when I’m not toasting I sometimes feel a bit cold and empty but that’s not all the time – I love toasting but I wouldn’t want to toast all the time – it can feel a bit odd when something is put in me and the thrill when the lever is pushed down.

I’m just wondering what I am now when I’m not toasting..but then I thought I have a sort of basket on top of me that warms things – bit gentler but they don’t use that much.

No-one’s ever asked me what it’s like being a toaster before – is that what you asked? I feel quite important.

Now thinking about that smell of toast – they love it, heard them talking the other day, saying that someone had decided it was the world’s favourite smell

I did that – me
Can’t seem to smell it myself though, not even sure I can smell

I feel warm though when I’m toasting, I’m surprised by how much thinking I’m doing – seems that really that’s all the experience I can access at the moment, the toasting and that warm feeling and the thinking

I have these sort of jaggedy metal platforms in me
Oh and I just felt the spring

And I’m feeling a bit worn out with all this introspection now

And I just wondered if I ever got hungry but I don’t actually know

You ask me to tell you what it’s like being a toaster and now you’ve got me wondering

And something funny just occurred to me – I don’t have any choice (or do I) when the toast springs up but sometimes it makes people jump

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